Preparing for marriage through dating
Allow me to compare marriage to the foundation of a house. Laying the foundations of a house is pretty complicated. There is a lot of work that goes into the foundation. Why would we work so much on something we are not going to see? If we ly a strong and sturdy foundation we will be setting ourselves for a successful marriage. Even if no one else will see. There are different parts of a foundation and in a relationship there are a lot of small things that work together. To build a house we need to draw up plans, in marriage we need to make our expectations clear to ourselvees and to others.
A growing trend that is happening in the dating community currently is that people go on few dates and spend too much time together. Behaviors are not displayed or practiced to have a practical marriage. Let's go back for a minute to the house analogy. In different seasons a house may move (due to the moisture) the foundation (made of sand) begins to move and the house will crack. The proper foundation for a marriage is to learn how to make decisions together, planning together, problem solving together, and communicating (respectfully, but honestly). If couples just, hang out, all the time without taking the time of planning dates together, then the relationship will be very hard to maintain.
Another problem is that a lot of people don't have discussions about boundries. Couple want to avoid talking about these topics, and later on in a marriage it tends to affect it. A transitional adjustment for many couples is the engagement. This is where a lot of the couples true colors begin to show. It is also an opportunity where they get to practice what they have been learning from each other during courtship. In most situations the bride is the one that is mostly involved in wedding preparations. More often than not, her mother will be involved in helping her with the plans as well. She will help her daughter and the relationship with them will become stronger. Having a good relationship with your mother is a good thing, however, in this moment it is more important for the bride to be making strong connections with the groom than with her mother. This is where the separation of the couple may begin. Some studies have shown that ther more peopole there are at a wedding reception the longer the relationship lasts. They also show that for every dollar spent over 25,000 on the wedding ring the less likely the marriage is going to last.
To many the solution may seem "let's cohabitate, that way we learn how to work together without the hassel of a wedding, it will be like practice". Most studies show that couples that cohabitate are three times more likely to divorce. This mainly may be because the man and woman have been so used to having thier own things it is difficult after they get married to share things. The expectations between the couples change, and neither of the couple is willing to communicate or talk about it. The reason may be because they expect their spouse to already know how they are feeling.
It is recomended that a month prior to marriage a couple discusses the following:
1. Relationship with in laws
2. Relationship with friends
I hope these are helpful and you can keep these things in mind when you are looking for a suitable partner. And if you are already with one and didn't follow any of these, ther is still an opportunity for you to strengthen your marriage. Remember that the most important thing is to have a meaningful connection with your spouse.
A growing trend that is happening in the dating community currently is that people go on few dates and spend too much time together. Behaviors are not displayed or practiced to have a practical marriage. Let's go back for a minute to the house analogy. In different seasons a house may move (due to the moisture) the foundation (made of sand) begins to move and the house will crack. The proper foundation for a marriage is to learn how to make decisions together, planning together, problem solving together, and communicating (respectfully, but honestly). If couples just, hang out, all the time without taking the time of planning dates together, then the relationship will be very hard to maintain.
Another problem is that a lot of people don't have discussions about boundries. Couple want to avoid talking about these topics, and later on in a marriage it tends to affect it. A transitional adjustment for many couples is the engagement. This is where a lot of the couples true colors begin to show. It is also an opportunity where they get to practice what they have been learning from each other during courtship. In most situations the bride is the one that is mostly involved in wedding preparations. More often than not, her mother will be involved in helping her with the plans as well. She will help her daughter and the relationship with them will become stronger. Having a good relationship with your mother is a good thing, however, in this moment it is more important for the bride to be making strong connections with the groom than with her mother. This is where the separation of the couple may begin. Some studies have shown that ther more peopole there are at a wedding reception the longer the relationship lasts. They also show that for every dollar spent over 25,000 on the wedding ring the less likely the marriage is going to last.
To many the solution may seem "let's cohabitate, that way we learn how to work together without the hassel of a wedding, it will be like practice". Most studies show that couples that cohabitate are three times more likely to divorce. This mainly may be because the man and woman have been so used to having thier own things it is difficult after they get married to share things. The expectations between the couples change, and neither of the couple is willing to communicate or talk about it. The reason may be because they expect their spouse to already know how they are feeling.
It is recomended that a month prior to marriage a couple discusses the following:
1. Relationship with in laws
2. Relationship with friends
I hope these are helpful and you can keep these things in mind when you are looking for a suitable partner. And if you are already with one and didn't follow any of these, ther is still an opportunity for you to strengthen your marriage. Remember that the most important thing is to have a meaningful connection with your spouse.
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