Family Culture
Family culture consists on two very important elements, family rules and family roles. Family rules are very different from one home to another. Some of the rules are very explicit and clear. There are some rules we don't really even talk about, but we know they are there. For example, most of you probably have a regular spot at the dinner table. Have you ever noticed you always sit on the same spot and no one seems to take your place. Or how you may respect someone else's place at the table with no real explanation.
Besides the family rules, we also have family roles. It may be different for every family, but most commonly the older ones tend to be the more responsible ones, and the one parents trust the most. Or at least want to trust the most. The middle child is always creative. It could either be in academics, a special talent, or even getting into trouble. The youngest child tends to be the one most looked after. We don't really debate and vote on these roles we take. They just seem to happen naturally.
Both family rules and family roles can be critical in the way we are shaped and grow up. It defines our individual culture. Take a moment and consider your own family rules and your own family roles. Are you satisfied with them? Do you agree with them? Do they make you and your family better people? If the answer to any of these is not, I invite you to think about why. Once you figure out what can be improved in your family culture, I invite you to change them. If you are considering starting a family sometime in your future it is important to evaluate these behaviors and decide what you want for your own family, and what you don't.
Our parents are not perfect and neither are you. We learn from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Maybe in one thing that your parents lacked you can improve, and in what you lack your children will improve. If you are thinking about getting married in the future, it is also important to communicate your family culture to him/her. It may come as a surprise to you, but most families are different and think differently of their family responsibilities. Ask them what their goals are for your future family and tell them what you want to do for yours.
Besides the family rules, we also have family roles. It may be different for every family, but most commonly the older ones tend to be the more responsible ones, and the one parents trust the most. Or at least want to trust the most. The middle child is always creative. It could either be in academics, a special talent, or even getting into trouble. The youngest child tends to be the one most looked after. We don't really debate and vote on these roles we take. They just seem to happen naturally.
Both family rules and family roles can be critical in the way we are shaped and grow up. It defines our individual culture. Take a moment and consider your own family rules and your own family roles. Are you satisfied with them? Do you agree with them? Do they make you and your family better people? If the answer to any of these is not, I invite you to think about why. Once you figure out what can be improved in your family culture, I invite you to change them. If you are considering starting a family sometime in your future it is important to evaluate these behaviors and decide what you want for your own family, and what you don't.
Our parents are not perfect and neither are you. We learn from our own mistakes and the mistakes of others. Maybe in one thing that your parents lacked you can improve, and in what you lack your children will improve. If you are thinking about getting married in the future, it is also important to communicate your family culture to him/her. It may come as a surprise to you, but most families are different and think differently of their family responsibilities. Ask them what their goals are for your future family and tell them what you want to do for yours.
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